----NEAL asks RANDY if he goes regularly? As RANDY stares into space, he remarks, "THAT DEPENDS ON THE SIZE AND I THINK THAT GUY IS HEADED RIGHT FOR ME." To bad RANDY, he headed in

your direction but only to make it with NEAL. Such is life in a crowded bar. -----CARL, you didn't really "NAIR" your buns, did ya, huh? -----CLAY, we cannot believe that you are that stupid, who ever heard of CASHEWS getting rid of DIARRHEA?

ISIS

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Q... "Do you know anything about antiques? A..."I found a tanpon on the street the other day, do you know what period it's from? -----KAY, If I had your beauty, I'd get a sex change. Love n Kisses, an admirer. -----SARAH, TO HER FRIEND, MARY JANE (talking about karen without her hearing a word) **If she was that perfect, she would have risen on the third day." -----JEAN, we hear your trying to toss out your ex-ex love. "WHY YES, BUT IT'S IMPOSSIBLE, HAVE YOU EVER THROWN OUT A BOOMERANG."----We are curious as to what CHET means when he says that his club is, "HIGH DENSITY.' -----Whatever happened to RITA and BABE. YOU REMEMBER RITA, She used to be SECURITY GUARD HERE.

KEYS

PAUL, on the way home from this club and in the wee hours in the morn, Sports a pretty, brown eyed blonde hitching a ride. PAUL picks the kid up and they return to this clubs parking lot. Where of course, History once again has repeated itself. -----(Oh, don't tell KEVIN. He just might charge you room and board. Remember, no one tell KEVIN.) ---Jerry, a native Clevelander flew in from Detroit. Well, from one queen to another, "OF COURSE HE LOOKS GREAT, HE'S HAD SO MANY FACE LIFTS THEY'RE HELD UP WITH VELCRO TAPE." AMEN. -----JIM TO FRED, "YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A TRAIL OF BROKEN HEARTS." "AH YES, BUT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO WIPE the smile off their faces." Said Jim. Urf, Urf, Urf. -----"Craig, I know that your boss keeps you very busy." "Well JACK, thats true but thats only because I can be busy elsewhere. Say you wanna fool around. After all, we have three and a half hours before you know who comes home." PaHleaze.

Pickwood TJ has a wet dream over butches roommate TOMMY. Afew minutes later

TJ rolls over to the other side of the bed and does the same thing over L'SLEEZ. Pah-Leaze.----CEIL gets ripped, saunters into an RTA bus stop cover. She Checks the East, the West, bends over, raises her leopard coat, raises her dress, drops her panties and turns this RTA cover-up into NIAGRA FALLS. -----A small retraction is in order. Nov. 15, 1983 is the official 50 year anniversary for this club. However, GLORIA will celebrate in FEBRUARY of 1984. It seems that ART usually has three lovers at the same time. His secret, 10,000 units of VIT. E-B and GINSENG, every three hours. -----CAN WE TALK HERE, L'SLEEZE says, "I'M TIRED OF BEING AN OLD QUEEN." PAUL retorts with, "HAVE YOU CONTEMPLATED SUICIDE?" -----RICKY likes to have lovers, but please, only one a night. Urf, Urf, Urf ----And then DEBBIE said, "SLEAZ GIVES ONE A LITTLE ROOM FOR AN EXPLANATION." -----L'SLEEZE WAS PERCHED ON A BAR STOOL ENJOYING HIS FAVORITE GIN & TONIC, WHEN SOME ONE ASKED, "What time does the TOMAHAWK OPEN for business." Well, before anyone could answer, SLEAZ soke up first and said, "THE TOMAHAWK OPENS AT 11 A.M., BUT I DEFY ANYONE TO LEAVE HERE N GO THERE. 00 And of course no one left...We hear that Ms. JORDAN quips, "HOW IS IT, NOT TO HAVE LITTLE HITLER SITTING ON A BAR STOOL." -----JOHN pays $25.00 for a little twixp on Lorain Ave. Dear girl we hear it wasn't worth it. Common girlfriend tell us about it. -----TRISTON gets ripped to the tits and fakes a heart attack in front of GLORIA so he won't have to leave the bar. Does it work, not with GLORIA. She asked her bartender to get her a bucket of water. That's all it took, triston trips as he T'weaves out the door. Urf, Urf, Urf ----Honestly, sometimes this club looks like a monastary (no-not NUN last night or NUN the night before) but with all the ex-seminarians, ex-monks and expriests (both ROMAN & EPISCAPAL) we could have our own 'RECTOR SET It's true that the processional will be GLORIA by Laura Brannigan, "SWING THAT INCENSE POT HONEY, "-----And who I say stole the PICKWOODS RED HOT PHONE FROM the Lounge side. Why ya sick little QUEEN, "MAY THE CRABS OF A THOUSAND QUEENS LAND IN YOUR ARM PITS."

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